Before “FIFTY,” this blog was called “Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition.” The description of that blog can be found below:
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. What? Exactly.
You start the day, refreshed, hopeful, with a plan. You walk the dog, sip your fresh brewed coffee, read the newspaper, wake the kids, eat breakfast. Everybody heads off to the places they usually go: school, work, yoga class. Everything is on schedule.
Then it happens. Your phone rings (or buzzes).
- It’s the school. Your kid has lice. They’ll have him quarantined in a small closet until you can get there to pick him up.
- It’s your spouse. Remember the napkin he scrunched up and tossed in the trash in the family room last night? He wrote a very important number on it in yellow crayon and he needs it now. He thinks it’s in the trash can and that its on a scrunched up napkin, but it might be on the back of a sales slip on the kitchen counter. Or did he put it in the back pocket of the khakis he threw in the wash last night? What’s important is that he needs that number right now if you want him to continue to remain gainfully employed.
- It’s your boss. That report you’ve barely begun, which he needed a week from Friday? He needs it in one hour. And in two hours he needs you to join a conference call to discuss the report’s findings with the company’s biggest client, an antiquated ass who already thinks you’re stupid because you are a woman AND a Democrat, both characteristics which you wear proudly on your sleeve.
- It’s your neighbor. She’s about to board a plane out of the country and realized that she left her oven on. You can’t remember where you put her key and she doesn’t keep a spare anywhere, but you don’t tell her that. You send her off believing that you’ve got the oven situation under control.
- It’s your mother. Or the building manager. Or a stalker.
You get the idea. And it doesn’t have to come in the form of a phone call. The best laid plans . . . yadda, yadda, yadda. So how do we function in this mad, mad, mad, mad world?
That’s what I’m here to ponder. The sh*t that happens (or as was once said to me: the feces that occurs.) How we deal with it. How we distract ourselves from it. How we make sense of it and of ourselves.
Sometimes I’m serious; occasionally I’m funny; frequently I’m naive; and at moments, I’m wise – ish.
I hope you enjoy reading my
rants ponderings and that you join in the conversation in the comments section below each post.
A selection of popular posts from “Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition” can be found in the Past Posts section, located in the sidebar.