That Evil Halloween Candy (Day 246)

I’d like Halloween just fine if it weren’t for all the candy.

I’m not talking about on Halloween night when your little trick or treaters come home and pour their pumpkin (or pillowcase) full of candy on the kitchen table so they can examine their loot. I’m talking about the before. And the after.

If you are anything like me, you don’t care so much about candy most of the year. Ice cream, yes. Cookies, all the time. But candy, I can pass up. Except come October and early November.

Candy is everywhere. Candy is easy. Candy is addictive.

Last night, we left a Halloween party, where I’d carefully avoided the candy (and cupcakes and cookies) for several hours only to find myself grabbing a couple of Reeses peanut butter cups, for the road. Admittedly it was a 25 minute drive, but I’m pretty sure I could have survived and not been the worse for it if I didn’t have the extra sugar.

When I go to the grocery store, I have to walk quickly past the bags of candy corn because I have a tendency to convince myself that everybody should have a bowl of candy corn at their house during Halloween season. It’s so pretty and I don’t like the way it tastes, so I’m safe to buy some. That’s what I tell myself. In actuality, I do not like the taste of candy corn but if I have it in my house, I always take a few and then a few more and then a few more until I have to transfer what’s left from a medium-sized bowl to a small one so as not to make it obvious that I’ve just scarfed down half a bag. Post candy corn stuffing, I get a headache. Too much sugar, shot too quickly into my system.

Today, I closed my eyes as I pushed my shopping cart past the candy corn display. And I persevered. But I know that there will be another grocery trip when I will lose my resolve. I’ll pretend up until then that I can go a year without a candy corn meltdown, but who am I kidding? It is highly unlikely.

Also, the candy for the trick or treaters. Big bags start showing up a month before October 31. I’m good at avoiding buying them for the first few weeks, knowing that I can’t keep them in the house for too long before I have to try one. (Just one. Okay, one more. This is the last one. No really, this is the last one.)

It’s the final week before the big day when I break down, because I hate to be the house that gives out the yucky candy like dum-dum lollipops and what if they run out of the good stuff? So I buy something chocolaty and good, hide it in a drawer or cabinet and ignore it for a day, maybe two. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to return to the store to buy more candy because I’m afraid there won’t be enough for the trick or treaters due to some unknown burglar who only steals candy from my secret hiding place.

The one thing I can be thankful for, now that my kids are older and don’t trick or treat, is that the post-Halloween candy problem is greatly reduced. There may be a few pieces left that we didn’t give away, but no kiddie bags, set aside so the kids can have a piece for a snack and two pieces after dinner. It’s amazing how quickly those candy bags emptied even though we limited the kids’ intake. Late at night, after they went to sleep, that same burglar (and her accomplice/husband) were known to save their children from ingesting too much of that evil sugar they’d collected.

So far, no candy corn or bags for trick or treaters have been purchased. I’m going to try to hold out this year until the very last minute.

And this year, I’m NOT going to buy an “extra” bag of the best type of candy and accidentally lose track of where I hid it when it comes time to give to the kids. I swear I’m not. Scout’s honor.


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5 thoughts on “That Evil Halloween Candy (Day 246)

  1. Halloween candy is evil. And they make the serving size really small so you think, “Well, one Fun Size Kit Kat isn’t going to be enough. This is a job for three of them!” And then before I know it, I’ve eaten so much candy that the sugar rush imbues me with the power to travel between dimensions.

    1. In my neighborhood, there are a few houses that give away full size candy bars to the trick or treaters. I’ve always considered that overkill, but maybe it was self-protection. I know I’m less likely to eat a whole candy bar than a fun-size one.

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