The Insomniac’s Lament (Day 79)

(photo credit: Sleeping comfortably by CameliaTWU on

What bothers me the most after a night of little or no sleep (like last night)?

It is not the way my body feels like a bag of cement that needs to be dragged around.

It is not the occasionally mindless decisions my fuzzy brain makes.

It is not the lack of drive to tend to anybody else’s needs (i.e. making dinner for my family or checking in with a friend whose husband had unexpected surgery.)

It is not the lack of confidence in any writing I do.

It is not even the way I can’t even pretend for others that I’m fully present.

What bothers me the most is that if I take a nap, I may make it harder to get a good night’s sleep tonight, and my mind is too tired to figure out if it is worth risking another night of insomnia for the rest that my body is currently craving.



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6 thoughts on “The Insomniac’s Lament (Day 79)

  1. What a drag! In my house, this would be “call out for pizza” night…
    I hope you sleep better tonight!

  2. If this is a chronic thing, you may want to get a sleep study done. I used to be tired ALL the time. If I forced myself to skip the nap, then I was So Exhausted, that I would fall asleep, and maybe stay asleep. But I still felt tired the next morning. Finally, my doctor sent me for a sleep study and it turns out I have sleep apnea – easily corrected with CPAP. Now I only need about 7 hours a night (compared to 10 before) and I feel completely rested.
    Very worth checking out. And yes, you really CAN have sleep apnea even if you do NOT snore!

    1. When I analyze it, my insomnia has patterns. Also, it isn’t so often. But I’m a girl who needs her sleep. So when insomnia rears her ugly head, I’m in trouble. As are most people who cross my path. 🙂

  3. Give yourself what you need when you need it, if you can. I find I have a hard time sleeping when I am overtired and overstressing myself with all the things that I should be/should have been doing. Take a nap, or do a meditation. Take care of you.

    1. I did take a nap and it did help. I’ve found that I have to set my alarm, though, to avoid the too long nap that leads to future problems.

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