When is Enough Enough? (Day 78)

(photo credit: Friday-Love! Silly Face Edition by Viewminder on flickr.com. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/legalcode)

How old would I be if I got back all of the time I’ve wasted in my life on self-criticism? Forty? Thirty-five?

Over the years, I have spent hours upon hours getting depressed over not being:

Smart enough,

Thin enough,

Pretty enough,

Talented enough,

Strong enough,

Savvy enough,

Rich enough,

Cool enough,

Capable enough,

Fun enough,

Serious enough,

Successful enough.

I’m 50 friggin’ years old, and while I do not get myself all worked up about most of those “enoughs” anymore, I do have my moments when I question myself, especially regarding appearance and accomplishment. I know what a waste of time it is but the self-criticism pathways in my brain run deep. It’s so easy to slip into the negative self-talk without thinking about how I actually feel, if I stop and consider.

We’re all put on this planet to live out our particular lives. We are supposed to be who WE are, not our neighbors or friends or people in the news and entertainment. So why do we expend so much energy trying to mold ourselves into some vision of the perfect person that we’ve developed in our minds based on media images, cultural ideals, and personal (and usually thoughtless) criticism?

I’m not somebody who is going to remove myself from society to be more true to myself, because I like being a part of the world. But I’ve also (FINALLY) grown up to realize that the best thing I can offer the world is all that I am. At my core.

What we all need is to figure out how to be at home in ourselves. Then, it doesn’t matter if you fit the ideal.

Anyway, nobody fits the ideal. An ideal is a conception of perfection. A conception is not a reality. It is an idea.

It’s time to let go of the belief that we are not amazing as we are.





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3 thoughts on “When is Enough Enough? (Day 78)

  1. So true Sara. There are days when I am at home with who I am, and there are days when I wish I was more than I am. During the times I wish I was more than I am, sometimes that makes me push myself more. So I guess that’s the bright side. I’m not always able to do that, but I’ll settle for sometimes!
    By the way—you are amazing! Enough said!

    1. Aw. Thanks Kate. It’s great that you find some of it a push to greater things. That rarely works for me. Unfortunately.

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